‘Go And Live Your Life’ – Three Month Check Up

‘Go and live your life’ were the words uttered by one of my surgeon’s team on Monday when I went for my follow up appointment.  I had been sent straight to X-ray when I arrived and once that was done I went to Trauma and Orthopaedics for my appointment. I was slightly sad that I didn’t get to see my surgeon but I guess his work is done! Anyway, the doctor said that my X-ray looked PERFECT, that people like me are the reason they do hip replacements on young people and that now I can go and live my life (as long as my life includes lots of physio) – it couldn’t have been much better than that!

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I asked her to measure my legs to see if I am even now or whether I am still shorter on the left. She said my ‘true’ measurement is equal but my ‘apparent’ shows I am still shorter on the left which could be due to wonkiness in my spine, pelvis or just due to my muscles. Either way it sounds like it is better than it was before!

I now won’t be seen until June 2019 but finally I can feel confident that things are ok on the inside in terms of my bone/ceramic! Time to get on with my life!

Restriction Free!

Quite incredibly, it is now twelve weeks since my hip replacement which means I am now restriction free! Although I’ve been looking fairly normal (if a bit lame sometimes) recently, I have still been banned from bending beyond 90 degrees, twisting or crossing my legs.. until Tuesday just gone. So how does it feel?

– Being able to shave my own legs in the shower was a liberating moment!

– Putting on trousers, socks and shoes is so much easier than it was.

– Normal toilet seats are so low! I never thought I’d miss the seat raisers but they were so much more comfortable being tall and wide!

– Crossing my legs felt really weird to start with. Apparently it isn’t good for you anyway so I might continue to try to give it a miss.

– Touching my toes for the first time was magic – I wasn’t sure my muscles would let me do it and they did tighten but I managed!

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Generally I am feeling far more relaxed. It is taking a while for the precaution habits to break but I no longer have to think so much about what I am doing or worry that if I pull hay out of Pea’s mouth (like I did the other day) I might be bent more than 90 degrees and my hip might pop out!

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Tomorrow I am going to see my surgeon, fingers crossed it is all going as well as I think it is!

Burghley Horse Trials 2018

Yesterday I had my first trip to Burghley Horse Trials (at nearly 11 weeks post hip replacement) and had a fantastic day.  I will never event but I have a whole heap of respect for the sport and love watching it.

The Journey

My non-horsey boyfriend was completely up for going to Burghley (having enjoyed Badminton 2017) until he realised it was going to be at least a 2 hour drive.  We left at 7.30 and arrived at 10.30 after having to cope with the Moreton Show traffic, a coffee and diesel stop and his own little detour to avoid some of the Burghley queue (which worked quite well!)  Our trip home was much quicker!

The Shops

We decided to walk around all the shops first as the horses hadn’t actually started when we arrived and I thought I’d get the lions share of walking out of the way.  It is my birthday in November so I looked at more possible present ideas for me rather than Pea (as she pretty much has everything she could possibly need and more!)  I found some of the shops (particularly Fairfax & Favor and Dubarry) just too busy for someone who is worried about being knocked or jostled but I managed to snap a few of my favourite things and shops.

  • I love the little pouches you can personalise from Will Bees Bespoke and since they originate from Salcombe (ten minutes from where I grew up) I feel even more of an affinity with them!
  • I saw this Mark Todd Deluxe Padded Coat on the internet recently and I love it.  I’ve never had a padded coat before and I’m not sure when I would wear it but I know that I like it!
  • I am a big Joules fan – I don’t need a new handbag but I do really like this tan purse though sadly now can’t find it online!
  • This Powder Blue Woof Wear Numnah is on my wish list for Pea – I love the look of my Le Mieux numnah but it isn’t very soft and I’m wondering if the Woof Wear one will be more so.
  • I really like this Official Burghley 2018 T-Shirt but I think if I were to get one I’d have to get it a few sizes too big as I don’t like t-shirts tight!
  • You can’t not love the gorgeous equine jewellery at Hiho Silver.
  • I had to visit Sophie Allport‘s lovely stand – my Stag Bag which was a present last Christmas is so nice and useful.
  • We visited the Brocklehursts shop which I described as ‘the shop that keeps on giving’ – having seen these Barbour coats with furry hoods I now want a furry hood for my Barbour but they don’t seem to exist on their own!
  • My boyfriend’s favourite part of horse shows is the lorries and trailers – the Equi-Treks are a particular favourite.

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Being only just back at work part time and in a job that isn’t giving me much pocket money, I did more window shopping than actual shopping.  I did pick up a shirt from Rydale which I almost bought at Badminton and will be suitable for work.

The Food

We opted to grab something to eat before we settled down to watch the horses.  I had some chips and my BF had a pork roll.  I feel we certainly didn’t take enough advantage of the ‘Food Walk’ which we saw later and looked amazing however my legs were tired, I was feeling a bit wobbly and so we just went for the closest food vans!  We did top up with an ice cream later.

The Action

We tried out a few different vantage points to sit and watch – Discovery Valley, the main arena, Lambert’s Sofa, the Lion Bridge as well as walking via a few other fences.  Highlights for me were Ben Hobday who I have been a fan of since I first saw him at Your Horse Live in 2015 and Pippa Funnell who was my idol when I was a little girl and only allowed to watch eventing on TV from the back of our rocking horse!  I was looking forward to seeing Ben Way as he is a customer where I work but unfortunately he retired before he got to where I was.  We didn’t walk the full course as I didn’t think I was quite up to that but from what I did see, a lot of it seemed massive and/or very technical – there was a lot of breath holding and squeaking from me as a spectator particularly at Capability’s Cutting where even if the horse managed to negotiate the banks down and up, some of the riders almost got taken out by the low hanging branches!

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The Setting

Like I said, I’ve never been to Burghley before.  I didn’t find it as easy to navigate as Badminton but the whole place is beautiful from the Lion Bridge to the House itself and I would love to go again with a bit more mileage capacity for my new hip!

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Week Six – (Partial) Freedom

Lets just take a look at this picture for a minute.

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That’s right, no socks and no crutch – you would almost be forgiven for thinking that this is a pre hip replacement picture.. except for the fact that I have the most fantastically brown knees and the whitest shins!  And I’m wearing a dress at the yard still.

Let’s not get too excited.  I am 100% sock free but I am not 100% crutch free.   I was so panicked in Week Five – Owning My Own Recovery, thinking I would not be able to walk by the six week mark but things have steadily improved since then.  I went from standing on my left leg, to doing tiny steps across the room to being able to walk across the yard or the field.  Yesterday it was six weeks since my operation and my physio okayed me to walk unaided when I feel I am walking properly (or as properly as I can) but advised me to use my crutch when I am feeling stiff or tired.  I know all too well the damage caused by walking incorrectly so I am quite accepting of this.  I don’t want to hobble and limp around and do myself more harm than good.

My physio is pleased with how I am doing, particularly my ‘normal person’ stair climbing.  She has given me a few extra exercises to do to continue to build my left leg strength and suggested I try cycling since due to the other medical situation of this week (see here) I am not allowed to swim at the moment.  There is quite a big part of me that thinks I’m more likely to fall off a bike than Pea but I’m adamant not to ride her until I can get her in from the field and do all the pre and post ride pony care stuff myself.  I’ll let you know how cycling goes when I give it a try!

Being six weeks post op also means I’m allowed to sleep on my side (although I am playing it safe with a pillow between my knees).  I cannot describe the difference it makes to have bare legs and be able to curl my legs up on my side in bed.  The weeks of dreading going to bed are OVER!

In other news, I drove for the first time today.  I’m fine.  My leg is fine.  I may have given my boyfriend whiplash from practising my emergency stops!  I didn’t go on the road today, just the track to and next to the yard, but I’m confident that I am road ready now!

The toughest six weeks are out of the way, I can now carefully negotiate what I am calling part two of my recovery.  Pea seemed to genuinely notice that I wasn’t wearing my socks, I’m hoping I’ve got plenty more surprises in store for her in the next few weeks!

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VIP – One For The Girls

I try to keep my blog on focus – my hip and horses.  Today I’m going to talk about cervical screening.  I’ll try not to go into too much detail, I’m not going to be gross but this is something I feel passionate about and if I can make just ONE person listen to me on this subject, it will have been worth writing.

First, a fact: cervical screening (or smear testing if that’s what you want to call it) is offered FREE on the NHS to 25-49 year olds every 3 years (and less frequently for older women).  Not only that but follow ups and treatment are also free, should you need it.

In 2009, school girls in the UK up to the age of 18 were offered the HPV vaccine to protect against cervical cancer.  I was in the right age bracket and I had the series of jabs.  In the same year, the very sad passing of Jade Goody was well publicised in the media and as a result of this, smear test attendance nationally went up.  When you are 18, 25 seems a long way away and having had the vaccine, I never thought I would have an issue.

Last year I turned 25, I had my letter, I rang the GP, I booked a convenient evening appointment which wouldn’t affect work and I went for my cervical screening.  Having spoken to a few people about it beforehand I was expecting it to be a traumatic experience.  I can honestly say it was fine – yes, mild discomfort for a tiny amount of time but really fine.  I was pretty sure that that would be the end of that for another three years.

A letter in the post a few weeks later told me I had to have a colposcopy to further investigate my cervical cells – this time at the hospital.  I won’t lie, I was completely freaked out and pretty nervous about the whole thing.  My friend took me so that I had some pre and post appointment moral support but the whole experience was nothing like what my brain had built it up to be.  If you think of American TV shows that feature gyno visits, they are pretty bang on (on your back, legs in ‘stirrups’!)  I had a specialist nurse doing the procedure, a further nurse helping her and then another one stood by my head chatting to me and making sure I was ok.  Again, slight discomfort, took no time at all, minimal after effects.  And again I was sure that would be the end of that.

The letter in the post diagnosed CIN 1 abnormal cells which means unlikely/mild risk of developing cervical cancer.  No further treatment was needed, it said the abnormalities should go away by themselves but I would be invited back for a cervical screening in a year rather than three, just to make sure.

This year, aged 26, I got another letter.  It was just as easy to book my cervical screening appointment, it was just as convenient time wise and it was the most insignificant doctors appointment I have ever had.  I’m pretty sure when the nurse was done I said ‘was that it?’  Obviously a colposcopy is a bit more of a big deal than a basic smear and I think I had forgotten how quick and simple it was.  I was fairly sure that the abnormalities from last year would be gone and that I wouldn’t have any come back this year.

The letter inviting me for another colposcopy came three weeks before my hip replacement date.  Cue major panic.  Judging by normal appointment wait times, I wouldn’t be able to have it before my operation.  A quick phone call later, the team at Cheltenham General booked me in for an emergency appointment in a weeks time, before their clinic actually opened.  That’s right, they essentially made an exception for me in order to get it sorted – if that doesn’t show how important this stuff is, I don’t know what does!

This time I wasn’t worried, I went on my own and went straight to work afterwards.  I had the same team for my second colposcopy, it was quick, simple and fine.  The longest part of the appointment was sharing my concern with the specialist that I was in the same position a second time in the space of a year.  She said that the likelihood was that stress had stopped my body from kicking the issue and that’s why I was still in that position.  When I look at the year, a full time teaching job then moving jobs, houses and yards, getting put on the list for a hip replacement and moving jobs, houses and yards again is probably enough to consider the year stressful!  It has certainly made me think about my health when considering my future ventures.  The specialist said that if my cells were mildly abnormal this time they would be left for another year and if they were still there then, they would be removed.

In the early stages of hip replacement recovery, I got another letter.  This time the letter in the post diagnosed CIN 2 which means moderately abnormal cells.  Not only had the risk not disappeared but it had increased.  The letter told me I needed to have the cells removed and gave me an appointment date for mid July – less than a month after my hip surgery.  It was quite clear that getting these cells removed was a sooner the better kind of situation.  I checked with both my physio and my consultant (poor guy, he wants to know about my hip not my cervix!) about the logistics of getting in a position to have the procedure (American TV show style) which wasn’t deemed to be a problem.  Unfortunately, I would still be on blood thinners in mid July so my appointment was pushed back two weeks.

Today I had the abnormal cells removed.  I had the same team as I had for my colposcopys, the format of the appointment was the same and the only difference was that instead of taking biopsys of my cells, they were being removed.  I had Loop Diathermy (LLETZ) treatment which involves having a local anaesthetic in the relevant area (which I did NOT feel) and then having the cells removed using a thin wire loop which is heated with an electric current.  Sounds not particularly nice but again, mild discomfort was the extent of what I felt.  The worst part of the appointment was being told I probably shouldn’t go to work for a few days and that I might have bleeding for quite a few weeks.  Some studies say that having abnormal cells removed can lead to a slight increase in having a premature baby and others say that can be the case if you have ever had any pre-cancerous changes in the cervix.  I can’t really comment on the after affects of the treatment as I only had it today apart from feeling a bit lightheaded directly afterwards and the expected tummy soreness etc.  I can’t predict whether this will be the end of my dealings with the lovely ladies at the colposcopy clinic in Cheltenham, fingers crossed for my results letter in five weeks time and my next screening in six months!

Why have I written a thousand words about the adventures of my poor cervix I hear you cry!  Simply because the ‘Jade Goody effect’ is long gone.  So many people, friends, mums of friends and obviously many many strangers, don’t go to cervical screening appointments when they are invited.  People even ring the hospital clinic to refuse treatment of their abnormal cells!  Here is my plea.

If/when you are invited, go.

  • A few moments of awkwardness/discomfort/bleeding is nothing compared to what you would have to go through if you developed cervical cancer.
  • If you are old enough to legally let a male (or female) near your private parts, you are old enough to let a nurse!
  • The horror stories aren’t all true, the equipment used these days has improved significantly since screening was introduced.
  • You will generally be well informed about what to expect and can therefore mentally prepare yourself. With each letter and appointment I have had leaflets about what to expect.
  • The appointments are quick and easy, the NHS want you to attend so they make it as easy for you as they can.
  • Set a good example for your friends/Mum/sister/daughter. You may never have an issue but you might be saving their life by getting them to go.
  • Not all cancers can be predicted or tested for in this way. If you can do something to reduce the risk of getting cancer, why wouldn’t you?

If anyone has any questions about anything I have written or actually wants to know the gory details so that they know what to expect, contact me .  Like I said, if I can help one person, writing this has been worth it.

Finally, whether you are pre smear or having further investigations, don’t google it.

www.cancerscreening.nhs.uk/cervical

www.jostrust.org.uk

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Can’t Ride, Can Horse

I have always been a big believer that there is so much more to horses than riding.  For most riders there will be a time where they can’t ride for some reason whether it is surgery, an accident, horse injury, weather or something else.  Obviously over the last few weeks I have been in this position so here are a few suggestions for things to do to keep horsey when you can’t ride (which are geared towards the non walking for obvious reasons!)

  • Give your tack a birthday!  Even if you are religious about cleaning your tack after every ride, tack can always benefit from a thorough clean and condition.  Better to get anything mended when you don’t need it!
  • Sort out your grooming kit.  Clean those brushes, chuck out anything broken, replace anything you are missing.  I have had my Eqclusive HAAS brushes for a year and love them but this is the first time they have had a proper clean!
  • Groom that horse!  I can’t get her in from the field but being able to shuffle around is good enough to give Pea a good groom, particularly if I’ve got my mum to help me.  It is amazing what you can achieve with good brushes and a bit of Canter Mane & Tail – her tail has never been so silky!
  • Organise the lotions and potions.  I tend to use my car as a moving horse care cupboard but every now and again I do a seasonal sort out – if it is July you do need fly repellent and suncream, you don’t need pig oil and mud cream.  Put the winter stuff away.. or at least for a little while longer.
  • Make some lotions and potions!  Mum and I made some hoof dressing out of lard, oil and tree tree the other day.  Next on the list is some milk, fairy liquid and glycerin based tack cleaner.
  • Sort out your photos.  Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a bit of an ‘insta kid’.  I take ALOT of photos and sometimes they don’t get very far.  Delete the bad ones, print the good ones, put them up on the walls.  Remind yourself of what you love doing and what you want to achieve.
  • Display your rosettes.  It may be because I came to riding so late but I love a rosette – even the completing the fun ride ones!  Put them up somewhere and remind yourself of what you have to be proud of or just to add a bit of colour to a wall.
  • Go and watch someone else.  I’ve been to local riding club dressage and the Hartpury Festival of Dressage.  If you can’t ride you can still pick up some tips from others.
  • Make plans.  Work out your schedule for when you can ride again whether that is planning how you are going to build up your fitness, booking lessons or looking up your next competition.

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I’m sure before long I will have a whole new set of activities to add to this as I am getting so much closer to walking.  In fact today I walked from the field shelter to the gate in Pea’s little paddock without my crutch.  I might be ‘can’t ride’ for a few weeks more but I’m nearly at ‘can walk’!

Just Keep Swimming!

I actually feel amazing today, probably for the first time in a long time!  My wound has healed up really well into a pretty neat scar.  The horrible scabby, bumpy indented wound with the swollen, numb skin around it that I showed in Sleeping, Scoffing And Stepping Through Week Two is amazingly well healed.  I don’t think I even need to warn you not to look now.. unless you don’t want to see bare skin!

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My physio had okayed me to go swimming but I have been putting it off until my scar was good.  Today was the day.  As I mentioned in My Hip Journey So Far, swimming used to be a big part of my life and has been slightly pushed out by horses in the last few years.  Even so, every time I go, I love it.  This time last year I joined a team in an overnight 12 hour swimathon and racked up over three and a half miles of swimming in four sessions.  I hadn’t trained or prepared for it, it was knackering going through the night but it was amazing.  Today didn’t quite feel as triumphant but it was pretty good.

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Part of the reason I wanted to go swimming was to have a go at walking in the pool.  Although the resistance is greater in water, you are supported and it was so much easier to walk in the water (unattended) than it is on land.  I also did my standing exercises in the water and didn’t have to cling onto anything for support like I do normally.  Aside from all that, I swam, normally, just like I used to.  It felt incredible.  I also used my kick board to just do kick – with all this crutch work my arms don’t need anymore of a work out!  It would have been far too easy to overdo it but I made sure I didn’t do too much and I rested up and floated around the rest of the time!

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It is worth me mentioning that as amazing as the swimming was, getting changed and negotiating the wet changing rooms on crutches wasn’t easy.  Luckily I had my mum with me to help me with my stuff and to give and take away my crutches at the right time.  My local swimming pool has steps with a handrail in the shallow pool too which meant I could get into the pool myself once I was at the top of the steps!

Not quite sure how I’m going to feel tomorrow, if I’m not too knackered I’m definitely going to go swimming again this weekend.  Without sounding completely big headed, being the best swimmer in the pool even though I’m five weeks post hip replacement was great for my ego!

Week Five – Owning My Own Recovery

I wasn’t going to do a five week update as all the important next steps are earmarked for the six week mark HOWEVER this blog wouldn’t accurately document my journey if I missed out the feelings of this week.

Up until this point I have been really pleased with my progress, the op went well, the wound is good, the physio is going well, everything has been getting easier and I have pretty much smashed all of the goals set out for me in the generic hip replacement document and those I have set for myself.  That is until this week.  I have been panicking about the fact that six weeks should be the point at which I can walk unaided but I can’t see how that is going to be possible.  I can speed along with two crutches or one as long as I’m not tired, I am walking 2-4km a day but when I try to take a step unaided, I just can’t keep my right leg (my good leg) off the ground for enough time to take proper steps.  I just can’t do it.

My boyfriend has reminded me that in the space of a week (last week) I went from lying on my side and not being able to lift my left leg off the other one at all to being able to lift it right up several times.  My mum said that it doesn’t matter how many weeks I am on crutches, my brain will let me walk when my body is ready.  My top visitor Rachel (from My Last Week Of Pony Freedom), who has visited me every other week since my operation, said that it is just like when you are running up a sand dune; you start off with good forward momentum and then at some point it gets hard-going but you can work through it and get to the top eventually.

All this, and reading people’s words on the Facebook support group, reminded me that this is my journey and that each hip replacement recovery is individual.  It doesn’t really matter what it says in the book, it doesn’t really matter what other people do.  I desperately want to walk next week, I even had a dream last night that I could, but if I can’t, it is not the end of the world.

At the school I used to work at we used to talk about the children owning their own behaviour (essentially taking responsibility for their own actions and not getting bogged down in what other people are doing).  I have decided to embrace my own journey and own my own recovery!

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The Four Week Itch

I can’t believe four weeks have passed since my operation!  I have had quite a busy week and I feel physically tired in the old familiar way I used to before my operation (although from a lot less activity!)

When I wrote my week three blog, I aimed to get more secure using one crutch, which I have but I am still using two for proper walking.  If I wasn’t doing very much I think I would be fine on one but I have spent a lot more time at the yard and doing other things which involve lots of standing around and walking and my leg gets tired quickly. When it is tired I can’t walk properly with one crutch, I guess it is just not time yet.

I am now able to walk up the stairs normally, just holding onto the hand rail which is amazing.  I take my crutch with me and put it on the steps my left leg goes on but that is only really because I need it when I get back onto the flat!

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The big aim this week was to get back to work.  I have done several tutoring sessions and one full day back at the shop where I work.  Everyone has been very understanding and considerate and it has all gone really well.  I did have a major brain fuzz when I was first in the shop but I soon remembered what I was doing! It isn’t going to help my tiredness but I need the money!

Another change this week has been that I have started to forget that I am on crutches.  Sometimes I find myself standing up and then realising I have to sit back down to get a crutch otherwise I can’t go anywhere!  As long as I don’t have to go very far there are some things I can do crutch free.. this morning I had a proper standing up shower (without the shower stool) and managed to get in and out without a crutch, I am also pretty good at grooming and tacking up with as little movement as possible!

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Things ARE still moving forwards but I’m feeling more and more frustrated that I still have two more weeks before things really change.  I still have to wait two more weeks until I have my next physio session and can (in theory) ditch the crutches, ditch the anti-embolism stockings, start sleeping on my side and start driving.  My parents will also be going back home to Devon in two weeks which is going to be a massive change for me.  My mum has done SO much for me and aside from the fact that she is helping, it has been so lovely to have them close by for a change and spending some time together with our patchy pets.

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I am predicting that the next two weeks are going to be quite tough, I am working a few days a week and resuming my normal tutoring schedule as well as spending more time at the yard and trying to continue to progress.  Mentally, the tricky thing is that I also feel a bit like being four weeks down the line means I should be just cracking on with life and that I shouldn’t still be all about the hip  anymore.  I don’t want to bore people, I don’t want to be a broken record but my recovery is the big thing going on right now and it is pretty all consuming.

Week Three – My Brain Has Come Home!

Yesterday marked three weeks since my operation.  This week has whizzed by but it has been a good one in terms of progress.  I am feeling much more like myself which has allowed me to get back to some more normal activities like doing yard things and reading (though that is usually strictly a holiday activity) and some slightly alternative ones like watching football!

Aim one was to get off the codeine.  I haven’t taken any codeine this week and I have coped without it just fine!  I am still experiencing pain from my wound and pain when I do my exercises (particularly in my knee which the physio said she expected) but it is nothing anywhere near like what I was experiencing before.  I am still very tired but no longer feeling like something else is in charge of my moods.  It is not too bad being tired now that I’m able to sleep on the sofa (which Mum has been photographing again!)

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My second aim for this week was to progress to using only one crutch when around the house.  It is amazing how much more I have been able to do for myself since I have been doing this, I can actually carry things from room to room which means that when I am home alone, if I want to get food or a drink I can AND I can comfortably stand and do things unsupported (including taking advantage of Mum’s top cooking!)  Groundbreaking!  On Tuesday, I took the one crutch strategy to the next level, although my aim was to only do it in safe places, I went down to one crutch while I was at the yard so that I could hose off Pea (whilst my mum held her), sweat scrape her and clean and carry my tack..  Not sure it counts as necessarily a safe place but it made me feel good.  This morning I actually picked out her feet and put her bridle on, if I’d be given pony care goals for recovery I would be winging through them this week!

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Aim number three was to become more independent which I was and am still sure is the route to feeling more like myself.  In the last week I have been left unattended outside of my house by my mum and boyfriend (my top carers) on four occasions; at the pub with my friends, at Hartpury Festival of Dressage for 15 minutes while my boyfriend went to the garage, at the yard for a while and at a music concert at the school where I used to teach.  Totally aware that these don’t sound like grand achievements BUT I’ve always been a person who does my own thing so being able to do some normal activities was exactly what I needed.

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This week’s schedule of activities has thrown up a lot of feelings for me.  Going to the Hartpury Festival of Dressage gave me a massive boost of ambition.  I have always been an average person, average at school, average at uni, a very average swimmer, an average waterpolo player and, lets be honest, an under average rider!  I don’t have the benefit of riding all my life, nor have I had weekly lessons for all of the four years I have ridden and, awesome and bombproof as she is, Pea isn’t exactly a push button schoolmistress.  I have struggled with my confidence for nearly the whole time I have ridden (as I said in Riding – How It All Started) and if you add that to the fact my left leg basically did nothing it should have done and threw the rest of me out..  I have always been pretty hopeless.  Back in the day I wanted to do everything, showjumping, cross country, the lot.  I can’t put my finger on the point at which I decided that actually I like hacking around and I want to do dressage.  I’m not fussed about jumping, I know what I want.  I’m not saying I’m suddenly going to become the next Charlotte Dujardin but the combination of feeling like my leg might work in the future and watching people at the top of their game made me excited.  I keep watching this video of my last lesson which I edited together on one of my down days and thinking of all the ways I can improve on it!

Going back to the school where I taught for four years was another biggie.  A year ago I was preparing to move house, move yards, move to a new and exciting job.  Some of the parents whose children I used to teach weren’t aware of the roller coaster that I have been on for the last nine months and it is a bit of a weird one to explain.  Also apparently when you are on crutches and are wearing knee length hospital socks you are not meant to answer the question

‘How are you?’

or

‘Are you ok?’

with

‘I’m fine!’

I have no regrets about the journey I have been on, I wish that I hadn’t had to leave the job that I so enjoyed but moving back to the place I know and the place Pea is sorted was definitely the right decision.

I’ve done a lot of thinking about the past this week.  I’ve also done a lot of thinking about the future but very very short term! The aims for this week are to get more secure on one crutch outside of the house as well as in it, to develop my stair climbing and to get back to work!!  I had physio yesterday and I’ve got some more strengthening exercises to do, some of my muscles are very tight and overworking whilst others aren’t doing enough so I need to try to change that.  Walking on one crutch and stepping up the stairs in different ways is going to help.  I was initially told to do the stairs good leg up first going up and bad leg down first going down but the physio has told me to switch it up and I’m pretty sure with the help of the banister I’m going to be stair walking pretty normally by four week mark.  Getting back to work will help that as the shop I work in has some very steep steps!  I’m a bit worried about going back as I’m still sleeping in the day most days at the moment but unless somebody is going to hand me a winning lottery ticket, I need to do it!

 

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